My crazy-ass brain

I wrote a short film (woot) that I’m really excited to produce & star in. I’ve teamed up with a co-producer and a director. We are actively searching for the right location (that we can afford) and I’ve started the SAG-AFTRA Short Film signatory process (!). On the one hand, I am so proud of the hard work I’ve put into this, and so excited to see how it all comes out. On the other – and this really bugs me – I find myself questioning whether this makes me less of an actor somehow to be making my own work.

Here’s what my crazy-ass brain is telling me:

Shouldn’t I be focusing on being called in to work on other people’s projects? Isn’t that what validates me and my work as an actor?

These questions sound silly when I write them out, but part of me does believe that the work of an actor is to serve the stories of others. So that if I’m not finding how I can help directors and producers make their projects come to life, then I am not doing my job. Maybe it's an actor thing. That we need to prove our worth through others' validation. I don't know. I wish I could be less concerned with the labels actor/producer, and more happy to be creating something I'm so proud of. You know?