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Butterflies in formation

Karen said something so interesting in class the other day. That if actors weren’t battling their stage nerves and making themselves crazy with anxiety from auditions and performances, that we’d all be jumping out of airplanes. In essence, we are adrenaline junkies, just of a different sort. She quoted a former student who said that he still gets butterflies when he has an audition, but now at least they fly in formation. Which I thought was so beautiful. Karen has been emphasizing relaxation techniques and showing us how to enter and leave a room (which is a skill in itself!), and I am starting to understand how these structured tools are the foundation that sustain an actor’s life. I am constantly at odds with myself, wanting both a structured, secure existence and yet also craving adventure and new opportunities. And it’s the first time that a teacher put that need for adrenaline into a context that I could relate to. The goal is no longer to stop being nervous. The goal is to harness my nerves, so my butterflies will fly in formation.

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